


The Devil is Raging Inside Me

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 10:05:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10462359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: AU where Gilfoyle is the devil and Dinesh makes a deal with him.





	

Dinesh was sitting at a terrible networking event, thinking about how he wished more than anything that he could find love.

“You realize that’s the most boring, cliche wish imaginable, right?” 

Dinesh jumped. He hadn’t noticed Gilfoyle standing behind before. He turned and asked, “Excuse me?”

“The wish to find love? It’s so boring,” he said. “You don’t even have the balls to pick a person and wish they loved you, you’re just…” Gilfoyle sighed. “Whatever. It’s not my job to criticize your wishes.” 

“It’s not your job?” Dinesh asked.

“Correct,” Gilfoyle said. “It’s my job to grant your wishes.” 

“Grant my… you’re like a, um…” 

Gilfoyle briefly flashed his horns before making them retract again. Dinesh let out a little scream.

“Nope,” he said, stumbling back. “No. Not getting involved in this.”

“Really? You want to spend the rest of your life alone?” Gilfoyle asked.

Dinesh clenched his jaw. “I hate to tell you this, but word kind of got out about the eternal torture thing.” 

“Well, this is your lucky day because I’m willing to offer you a pleasant alternative,” Gilfoyle told him.

“Wow, I’m excited because I bet there will be no horrible catch whatsoever,” Dinesh said sarcastically.

Gilfoyle smiled affectionately at him. “Okay, here’s my proposal,” he said. A ring with a jet black stone appeared in his hand. “Like, literal proposal.”

Dinesh stared at him, feeling both horrified and confused that the devil would pick him out of everyone to marry. “Um…” He felt like he had many questions and comments but all that he could manage was, “No.”

“Are you sure? Because you could live a long life with someone who has whatever qualities you desire,” Gilfoyle told him. “And they’ll be happy about it. Nothing weird. I’ll just use my considerable power to bring someone who would enjoy being married to you into your life and make them actually see you for what you are.”

“Like… you do?” Dinesh asked, glancing down at the ring. 

“Oh that,” Gilfoyle said with a laugh. “Yeah, I do see you for what you are and I love you.” He paused and added, “That’s probably off-putting coming from me. You’re not an evil person.”

“Then why?” Dinesh asked. “Why are you into me and no human I’ve ever met has been?”

“Has any human ever really gotten to know you?” Gilfoyle asked. 

“Why did you?” Dinesh asked. “You just have enough time to keep tabs on six billion people and then think ‘that’s the one for me’?” 

“I have ways of narrowing the search down to the qualities I want. It’s actually not dissimilar to the kinds of algorithms you create although, admittedly, using dark magic is kind of a cheat,” Gilfoyle said. 

Dinesh actually felt kind of charmed listening to Gilfoyle, but he shook his head and reminded himself who he was talking to. “What qualities?” 

“Stuff like being able to pivot from finding out that the devil actually exists to fishing for compliments,” Gilfoyle said, grinning at him affectionately. 

Dinesh felt his heart race a little at Gilfoyle’s flirting. He tried to focus. “Um, what does being married to you entail? Because it sounds terrifying.”

“Living forever with someone who has unimaginable power and loves you?” Gilfoyle asked.

“In hell, right?” Dinesh asked.

“Yeah, but it’s my house, so it’s the nice part,” Gilfoyle told him. “And we can take trips up to Earth if you want. And you’d have free will. I wouldn’t force you to do anything.”

Dinesh crossed his arms and said, “That’s good to hear because I would not have sex with you ever. I don’t like men.”

Gilfoyle smirked. “Okay.”

“What does ‘okay’ mean?” Dinesh asked.

“It means either I’m comfortable being celibate forever or maybe the scope of my power includes knowing your actual sexual desires,” Gilfoyle told him. “Whatever you want to tell yourself.” 

Dinesh bit his lip. “And until I die I can spend my life with a nice, hot woman who my family and friends will approve of?”

Gilfoyle rolled his eyes and said, “If you must.”

Dinesh sighed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… yes.”

Gilfoyle slid the ring on Dinesh’s finger. It disappeared and was replaced by a black mark around his finger. “Great, that’s not creepy,” Dinesh said, already regretting his decision. 

A woman walked over to him and said, “Hi. What’s your name?”

Dinesh blinked with amazement. “I’m, um, I’m Dinesh, this is…” He realized that Gilfoyle was already gone.

 

 

One night when he was very old, Dinesh went to sleep in his bed and then woke up in a bed with an elaborately crafted black frame and black silk sheets. 

Gilfoyle walked in. “How are you feeling?”

“Really good,” Dinesh said. He sat up and saw his reflection in the mirror and realized he was in his early 30s again. He looked around and said, “Although I’m not crazy about the tacky decor in here. Do you really have to lean into your whole thing this much?”

Gilfoyle laughed and sat down next to him. “I’m excited to see you again. How was… you know, your entire life?” 

“It was good,” Dinesh said. “Really good. I’m still kind of creeped out by… this whole situation.” He gestured between himself and Gilfoyle. 

“Well, you have a long time to get used to it,” Gilfoyle said with a smile. “So, what do you want to do today? Should I give you the tour and try to romance you or… give you some space while you get acclimated?” 

“Um, I don’t--” Dinesh tilted his head and asked, “Is this your first time doing this or…” He frowned a little, wondering exactly how a relationship could end for Gilfoyle. 

“I didn’t banish my last wife to damnation or anything,” Gilfoyle told him. “She decided to rest. Eternal life can get old for some people.” 

Dinesh nodded a little. “Okay, I have another question. What do I call you? Just The Devil? Because that’s super weird.”

“When I’m posing as a person I go by Bertram Gilfoyle,” he told him.

“Okay, I’ll stick with The Devil,” Dinesh told him. “I have another question. Could you hide your horns like you did when we met?”

“No. This is what I look like,” Gilfoyle said. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want them poking me when we kiss or whatever,” Dinesh said.

Gilfoyle smiled and said, “I thought you weren’t going to do anything with me because you’re not interested in men?” 

“No, I just-- I was just saying…” Dinesh glared at him. 

Gilfoyle laughed and said, “You can’t admit to me, of all people, the desires you have?”

Dinesh hesitated. After a minute, he said, “Okay. Fine. We both know I want to fuck you.”

Gilfoyle grinned. “Right now?” 

Dinesh felt pretty nervous, but he nodded and said, “Yeah. Let’s give it a try.”

Gilfoyle pulled Dinesh into a kiss. After a second, Dinesh started kissing back aggressively. It felt better than anything he’d ever felt before. 

Gilfoyle gently pushed him onto his back. He ran a hand down Dinesh’s body and in the blink of an eye all Dinesh’s clothes disappeared. Dinesh gasped. 

“You’re so cool,” Dinesh said breathily.

Gilfoyle grinned down at him. “Do you want to see something really cool?”

Dinesh nodded. Gilfoyle lightly placed a hand on Dinesh’s cock. He started coming hard. He writhed and moaned for the entire long, lasting orgasm. 

Gilfoyle finally pulled his hand away, leaving Dinesh gasping for breath. “Oh my God,” he said. He clung to Gilfoyle hard. He pulled away and murmured, “I guess I probably shouldn’t say ‘oh my God.’” 

“Doesn’t bother me,” Gilfoyle said, smiling at him affectionately. He kissed Dinesh lovingly. “You said something about wanting to fuck me?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ll be able to…” He immediately got hard again. “Right. Of course,” he said. 

Gilfoyle made his own clothes disappear and then rolled onto his stomach. Dinesh ran his hand down his back. He hesitated when his hand was on Gilfoyle’s lower back. He felt way too nervous to just grab the devil’s ass.

“Dinesh, it’s our wedding night. I want you to have me,” Gilfoyle said, sticking his ass up.

Dinesh groaned and put both hands on Gilfoyle’s ass. “You’re really sexy,” he told him. 

He gripped Gilfoyle’s hips and asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Gilfoyle told him.

Dinesh started gently pushing into him. He groaned happily. “Fuck, you feel amazing,” he said.

“You do too,” Gilfoyle said.

Dinesh felt amazed that he actually had the ability to sexually satisfy the devil. He pushed deep into Gilfoyle and moaned.

“You can fuck me as hard as you want,” Gilfoyle told him.

Dinesh gripped his hips and started really rocking back and forth hard inside him.

Gilfoyle moaned and gripped his bed frame. 

Dinesh pushed back and forth hard, making the bed rock with their movements. “Holy shit,” he said breathily. 

He pulled out so he could flip Gilfoyle onto his back, then pushed into him again. He looked down at him and grinned, “You’re so fucking hot,” he said.

“You are too,” Gilfoyle said. 

Dinesh kissed up and down Gilfoyle’s neck as he fucked him. He grabbed his dick and started jerking him off. 

Gilfoyle arched his back and moaned as he came. 

Dinesh kept fucking him happily for quite a while before he realized that he was getting exhausted. He looked at Gilfoyle uncertainly and asked, “Am I ever going to come?”

Gilfoyle grinned and said, “If you ask nicely.”

“I’d like to come now, please,” Dinesh told him. He moaned as he immediately came hard inside Gilfoyle. 

He slowly pulled out and then spread out, exhausted, on Gilfoyle’s bed. “Fuck,” he said.

Gilfoyle smiled at him and said, “Being with me isn’t too bad, is it?”

“It’s amazing,” Dinesh said. He kissed Gilfoyle hard, then asked, “Could I get some water and a bunch of food? I don’t know what I want. Maybe…” A couple of bottles of water and several trays of food appeared on the bed. “Well, I might get used to this quicker than I’d imagined.” He took a big gulp of water and then took a bite of a sandwich sitting in front of him. It was one of the best things he’d ever tasted.

“Something tells me you’ll get used to it obnoxiously quickly, princess,” Gilfoyle told him affectionately. 

Dinesh finished off the sandwich and then asked, “Can we have sex again soon?”

Gilfoyle grinned at him and said, “I love you.”

Dinesh looked startled and said, “Oh, I, um…” He felt like saying ‘I love you too’ was the right thing to do given that Gilfoyle was a powerful force of evil.

But, Gilfoyle put a finger to his lips and said, “You don’t have to say it before you mean it, babe. We have plenty of time for that.”


End file.
